Okay. Today wasn't too bad. I still have no idea if I'm pregnant or not. I'm still having the white creamy cervical mucus but not as much like yesterday. I'm still gettin' the back aches. How much longer is this going to last, I wonder?! I'm still gettin' the cramps and I know I'm way too early for PMS cramps. I'm 9 days actually from starting my evil monthly friend. So, playing this waiting game does suck. I really would like to know if I'm pregnant or not. If I am, great. If I'm not, great. But, I'm only doing this as for observing what is going on. We shall see what happens. Meh. I don't like being tired all day. I felt completely drain. Not fun at all. I need to sleep more but I slept all night last night. Oooh! I also had a dream a week ago and in that dream I am pregnant. I had no idea of the gender but still felt real. So, like I said. We shall see what goes on for the next couple weeks.
On a lighter note, I need to go to the PX and reschedule my make-up appointment for November 2nd because November 1st is Organizational Day for 82nd CAB. YAY! I also book an appointment to get my military ID renewed on November 9th. So much is going on!!! I hope and pray that we hear something from retention about me being accepted to go to Alaska. It would be wonderful. Though, we still have to wait to get a single piece of paper signed by the company commander stating Tim can stay in the military. That is all we need. Oh yeah. Apparently I jump the gun with doing the DA 5888 (overseas screening). Oh well. However, it did work to my advantage as the SGT at the retention office made a copy of my DA 5888 and DA 2792 and had it sent to Ft Wainwright EFMP. Hopefully they see that it says on the DA 5888 that my paper work is being submitted for disenrollment. Fingers cross!!!!
So much is going on. Must find a way to get more energy though. Yes indeed.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Maybe OR Maybe Not Pregnant. Have to Wait and See. =)
Wow, last time I wrote on this thing was back in December 2011. Time flies. Enough said. Anyway, I'm a thirteen months post-op from my bariatric surgery. I believe I'm doing good. I've lost 110 pounds and feel great. I've taken up jogging. My husband is back from deployment as of last month. YAY! Well, since then, we having a great time getting to know one and another. Great way to start all over and feel like newly weds once again. *laughs* Anyway, ya probably wondering about the post's title. Well, yeah. Here what has been going on this past weekend and it's something my sister-in-law, Jenny, suggest I do....which is write it down and I am. So here goes.
October 25th, Thursday- Went to sleep early and had a vivid dream.
Vivid dream: I was in a place of uncertainty. I felt like I was trapped in a room and there were a lot of people. The scent of the area smelt like sweaty locker room after a game has just finish. As I felt trapped, all of the people started coming around me as if I was a new pet. They all wanted to touch me, like petting me like a cat. I have no idea why these people are acting like this. I see a lot of women and men who I have no idea who they are. The feeling of being trapped and almost claustrophobic doesn't help. All I kept saying out loud was "Stop touching me!" as well as "No! Leave me alone!" These people weren't paying attention to what I was saying. I sure as heck didn't like the way I felt either. I didn't want to be touched. Screaming and trying to breathe at the same time. Fear sinking in that I won't be let go and be freed. -end-
October 26th, Friday- Tim, my husband, and I woke up around the same time. I looked over at him and noticed he was on the other side of the bed. I barely touched him but I have the feeling of not wanting to be touch still. He looks over at me and informed me that he tried cuddling up to me. He stated that he tried to stay close to me but I kept pushing him away and moving closer and closer to the edge of the bed. Finally, he gave up and let me sleep and heard me saying "no" as I was asleep, this is all that he stated to me when we woke up. He also told me that I felt like I was burning up as if my entire body was either on fire or I was having a very high fever. I told him the dream I had the night. That day, we went to Myrtle Beach. I told Tim that I didn't want to be touched by anyone because of the feeling I was still getting and wasn't sure why I was feeling that way. He nod at me. During the process of gettin' into our room to get situated, Tim offered me a rosemary and olive oil triscuitt. I took a bite out of it and wanted it back out of my mouth. I've never had that happened to me. Also, the scent of the rosemary did NOT smell appealing to me. Instead it made me nausea. I wonder why. That night, I stayed real close to him but I felt better when I was holding onto him but still didn't want other people touching me (like it was okay if I did the touching but would feel condemned if someone touched me...odd, I know). I was able to warm back up to the hubby. Also, that night was the first night that Hurricane Sandy was trying to make herself known. *laughs* Tim and I also walked on the beach that night with our shoes off, sat down on the beach and was watching/listening to the waves. Later on after the walk on the beach, Tim took me to Walmart to get a few things that we needed for the weekend. During the time we were in Walmart, in the food section, I smell rosemary and it was making me even more nausea. Granted I wouldn't have the foggiest idea as to where the scent would be coming from. All I know is I needed to get away from it and fast. I did have a wonderful time. Loved it!
October 27th, Saturday- Well, this morning was a bit different from the day prior. I woke up real close to Tim. I felt like I didn't want him to leave my arms. I'm not sure why I felt that way but I did. We went to our sessions and had a great time. Talked to our friend who was also there during breakfast. I also took pictures of the waves that Hurricane Sandy was causing. *laughs* Great time, I will tell ya. All it was was wind and light rain (not drizzle or sprinkling). During the day (after the sessions was over and done with), Tim and I went to the Bass Pro Shop. Inside the store, the first thing that I was smelling was caramel candy and maple syrup. We looked around the store and when we got to the front where there was the cash registers, there was no caramel or maple syrup anywhere. All we saw was fudge and buttered popcorn. Odd, I know. The rest of the night was okay. We did go to Margaritaville for dinner. Other than that, we stayed in our room and cuddle up while watching Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
October 28th, Sunday (Today)- Today was BEYOND weird! And, I'm still not sure what to think of it. We woke up late, like 8 am (we have to be up no later than 6:45 am to make it to breakfast at 7:15 am on these marriage retreats). We got dressed and high-tailed it out of the room. We put our belongings in the truck so we can leave after the session. We started heading to our session but I had to go to the restroom. So, after I tended myself and naturally ya have to wipe to get all the urine off of you and make sure ya clean before picking up the clothes onto your skin. Well, on the toilet paper (after wiping), I noticed there was what looked like mucus but it was creamy white. I'm not sure what that is all about. I have two splotches on the toilet paper and it was after one wipe. Something isn't adding up. Well, all day it has been puzzling me. I'm still clueless. I don't know if this is a sign of being pregnant or not. Well, we left the session, had lunch and headed out to come back home to Fort Bragg, NC. On our way home, my lower back went from no pain to a level five pain. I have no idea as to why it was doing it. I was sitting up straight while driving. I tell you. Something isn't right with my body. After a two and half hour drive, Tim and I finally got home and took all of our stuff inside the house. That is when the back pain had eased off. Well, around dinner time (which is between 6-8 PM), I started to get really sharp pains in my lower abdomen (probably my uterus...all I know it's around my hip bone and cervical area). Since then the pain has somewhat subsided but still noticeable. I will give the pain then a level eight and the pain level now a level one.
That is all that has happened over the weekend. I'm still not sure how I should perceive this if I'm pregnant or not. I'm only four days pass my ovulation date. So, I will have to see what goes on for the next few days. However, I do have that feeling I will be on time with my evil monthly friend. So, that is all I can say for now. I will keep this updated if I notice anything else different. G'night, y'all! =)
October 25th, Thursday- Went to sleep early and had a vivid dream.
Vivid dream: I was in a place of uncertainty. I felt like I was trapped in a room and there were a lot of people. The scent of the area smelt like sweaty locker room after a game has just finish. As I felt trapped, all of the people started coming around me as if I was a new pet. They all wanted to touch me, like petting me like a cat. I have no idea why these people are acting like this. I see a lot of women and men who I have no idea who they are. The feeling of being trapped and almost claustrophobic doesn't help. All I kept saying out loud was "Stop touching me!" as well as "No! Leave me alone!" These people weren't paying attention to what I was saying. I sure as heck didn't like the way I felt either. I didn't want to be touched. Screaming and trying to breathe at the same time. Fear sinking in that I won't be let go and be freed. -end-
October 26th, Friday- Tim, my husband, and I woke up around the same time. I looked over at him and noticed he was on the other side of the bed. I barely touched him but I have the feeling of not wanting to be touch still. He looks over at me and informed me that he tried cuddling up to me. He stated that he tried to stay close to me but I kept pushing him away and moving closer and closer to the edge of the bed. Finally, he gave up and let me sleep and heard me saying "no" as I was asleep, this is all that he stated to me when we woke up. He also told me that I felt like I was burning up as if my entire body was either on fire or I was having a very high fever. I told him the dream I had the night. That day, we went to Myrtle Beach. I told Tim that I didn't want to be touched by anyone because of the feeling I was still getting and wasn't sure why I was feeling that way. He nod at me. During the process of gettin' into our room to get situated, Tim offered me a rosemary and olive oil triscuitt. I took a bite out of it and wanted it back out of my mouth. I've never had that happened to me. Also, the scent of the rosemary did NOT smell appealing to me. Instead it made me nausea. I wonder why. That night, I stayed real close to him but I felt better when I was holding onto him but still didn't want other people touching me (like it was okay if I did the touching but would feel condemned if someone touched me...odd, I know). I was able to warm back up to the hubby. Also, that night was the first night that Hurricane Sandy was trying to make herself known. *laughs* Tim and I also walked on the beach that night with our shoes off, sat down on the beach and was watching/listening to the waves. Later on after the walk on the beach, Tim took me to Walmart to get a few things that we needed for the weekend. During the time we were in Walmart, in the food section, I smell rosemary and it was making me even more nausea. Granted I wouldn't have the foggiest idea as to where the scent would be coming from. All I know is I needed to get away from it and fast. I did have a wonderful time. Loved it!
October 27th, Saturday- Well, this morning was a bit different from the day prior. I woke up real close to Tim. I felt like I didn't want him to leave my arms. I'm not sure why I felt that way but I did. We went to our sessions and had a great time. Talked to our friend who was also there during breakfast. I also took pictures of the waves that Hurricane Sandy was causing. *laughs* Great time, I will tell ya. All it was was wind and light rain (not drizzle or sprinkling). During the day (after the sessions was over and done with), Tim and I went to the Bass Pro Shop. Inside the store, the first thing that I was smelling was caramel candy and maple syrup. We looked around the store and when we got to the front where there was the cash registers, there was no caramel or maple syrup anywhere. All we saw was fudge and buttered popcorn. Odd, I know. The rest of the night was okay. We did go to Margaritaville for dinner. Other than that, we stayed in our room and cuddle up while watching Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
October 28th, Sunday (Today)- Today was BEYOND weird! And, I'm still not sure what to think of it. We woke up late, like 8 am (we have to be up no later than 6:45 am to make it to breakfast at 7:15 am on these marriage retreats). We got dressed and high-tailed it out of the room. We put our belongings in the truck so we can leave after the session. We started heading to our session but I had to go to the restroom. So, after I tended myself and naturally ya have to wipe to get all the urine off of you and make sure ya clean before picking up the clothes onto your skin. Well, on the toilet paper (after wiping), I noticed there was what looked like mucus but it was creamy white. I'm not sure what that is all about. I have two splotches on the toilet paper and it was after one wipe. Something isn't adding up. Well, all day it has been puzzling me. I'm still clueless. I don't know if this is a sign of being pregnant or not. Well, we left the session, had lunch and headed out to come back home to Fort Bragg, NC. On our way home, my lower back went from no pain to a level five pain. I have no idea as to why it was doing it. I was sitting up straight while driving. I tell you. Something isn't right with my body. After a two and half hour drive, Tim and I finally got home and took all of our stuff inside the house. That is when the back pain had eased off. Well, around dinner time (which is between 6-8 PM), I started to get really sharp pains in my lower abdomen (probably my uterus...all I know it's around my hip bone and cervical area). Since then the pain has somewhat subsided but still noticeable. I will give the pain then a level eight and the pain level now a level one.
That is all that has happened over the weekend. I'm still not sure how I should perceive this if I'm pregnant or not. I'm only four days pass my ovulation date. So, I will have to see what goes on for the next few days. However, I do have that feeling I will be on time with my evil monthly friend. So, that is all I can say for now. I will keep this updated if I notice anything else different. G'night, y'all! =)
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Meh to the 10th degree. =/
I feel trapped. I seriously hate this feeling. I really, really wish I had a vehicle. I want to go driving around. OH frickin' well. I got into a stupid wreck in October. Now having to wait for two or three more weeks before I can drive again. All I feel like doing now is going running in the nature path out back since I can go for a drive. This sucks to high hell and back. I also feel like screaming my head off. My bottled up anger is gettin' too much. Oh well, gotta keep stuffin' more in there. Someday someone is going to piss me off and I will go off. Oh well. So yeah. Oh. It's 3:41 AM and I'm still awake. I'm frustrated and ticked off. Don't ask why because I won't tell you. Anyway, off I go. Laters.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Gastric Bypass-One Week Later =)
So last Monday, I had my surgery. I was weighing at 239lbs the Wednesday before so my doc took that number and just kept it at that. I'm currently at 227lbs. I've taken a few pictures of myself and I can see it. I'm like OMG! My stomach feels it's old self now that I've been able to get rid of all that carbon monoxide that they had to put into my stomach to get it to balloon. So, next week, I will be able to really work out! YAY! For the past week, I've been walking. I like walking. I have YET to go through the trails and walk. But, I need to. I've been just walking around the mall, Walmart, or wherever I can walk. Tomorrow is my follow-up appointment with my doc to see how I've progressed. Yay! =) I'm so happy about that. So ready to move onto full liquids. Gettin' tired of the clear liquids already. LOL. I will leave this picture of me. Tell me if you see anything different. =) Still have no idea then please click on a previous picture of me and look around my neck. Have fun lookin' at my new picture of me. =)
Say See You Later Just To See You Sooner
He has gone to Afghanistan. So I sit here and wait to hear from him. Praying he will be okay. I will miss him terribly. And, no matter what, I stand by his side as he goes and fights in a war. I will always love him with all of my heart, soul, and all of who I am. He is my knight in shining armour (well, flight suit. Lol). I will see him sooner than later as time will fly by.
My beloved partner in crime, I love you so much! Stay safe. Don't forget to pray before you take flight. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. You are my ONLY and/ ONE TRUE LOVE! See you real soon, my Snuggle Babycakes. *sends you bunches of kisses*
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Most Awesome News Ever!!!
Okay. I have the most awesome news ever!!!! I've been on the liquid diet for the past five days. I've lost eight pounds. Woohoo! Well, today, hubby took me to Macy's to try on pants. I am currently wearing a size 16s. BUT, and yes it's a big but. I'm now officially wearing size 14s!!! WOOHOOO!!!! I've never been so happy in my entire life. I haven't seen size 14s since I was in high school. OMG! I'm so psyched! I just have to continue what I'm doing. On September 14, next Wednesday, I go in for my pre-op surgery. I will be doing blood work, paper work, and whatever else I will need to do. September 19th, not this coming up Monday but the Monday after, is my surgery day. Hubby will be with me for both days. My dad will be here to help Tim. *sighs* I'm actually scared to do this surgery. However, I know it's something I need to do. Just hoping everyone can see it from my point of view. I know a few people have and are supporting me. Just wish I wasn't judge because I'm having surgery. I never judge them on their decisions in life. Why judge me about having surgery? Oh well. No point thinking about it. *shrugs* But, still happy here. I'm now down to a size 14 and going down down down. =D Well, time for bed. G'night y'all. ^_^
Updates on Sept 8th!!!!! ^_^
OMG! A lot has been going on. I got my surgery date. Yes, I was upset when I found out about it. Oh well, time to move on. My surgery date is September 19th (yes, in 11 days!!!). I'm so excited yet very scared. See this is my very first surgery ever in my entire life! I hope I don't have to go through any other surgery. I don't think I can handle all the stress from it. So, I have 11 days and I'm having to shrink my liver. Woohoo! Not. *laughs* Anyway, on the 14th, I will be going and doing my pre-op paperwork and whatnot. Not sure how long that will take. Though, I got hubby out of most of that day and my entire surgery date. Woo!!! I get to spend some time with him. He knows I'm scared. He is trying to be an awesome trooper by standing by my side and supporting my decisions. I'm on a liquid diet. Well, liquid in the morning, liquid and fruit for lunch, then lean cuisine for dinner. Not my best of choice since most of those foods are high in carbohydrates. I've also been drinking 64oz of water. Which reminds me. I need to hop on it today. I've only had 16oz and that was this morning. I need three more 16oz. Also, my dad is coming up here on the 16th. Yes'm, he will be here. Since hubby is deploying (bummer alert!), my dad said he will take care of me and make sure of everything I do is the way the Dr wants me to do it. Also!!! Bigger news!!! I think I'm going down to a size 14 now!!! OMG!!! Hubby is going to take me to Macy's so I can try on pants. I'm so excited. I also need to get a new belt since my belt only has five holes and it sucks cause my pants feel like they are trying to escape me. Not good. Anyway, I hope to keep ya inform and will let ya know how everything goes once the time gets closer and how it goes after the major surgery. Talk to y'all soon!!! *muah!*
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